There is a moment when grief enters the body. The chest tightens. The breath shallows and recedes. The ground feels less certain beneath our feet. For those of us who sit at the bedside of the dying, as death doulas, death walkers, and counsellors, we come to understand that death is not only a psychological or spiritual passage, but a profoundly embodied one. It is important to note that any loss or change in our life can feel like a death of sorts, so this article can be read with that in mind. Maybe a relationship is ending, maybe a career is ending, maybe you have lost your home or your place in your country of birth... all these endings can be sat with in a similar way, as we sit with the end of life.

Emotions are often misunderstood. In many cultures we are taught directly or indirectly to suppress them, manage them, or override them with logic. Yet within somatic therapy and embodied counselling, emotions are understood as vital information. They are not problems to eliminate but signals from the organism... messages from the body that help orient us toward safety, connection, meaning, and integrity.

Trauma is not only remembered through stories or thoughts, it is lived and stored in the body. Muscles tighten, breath patterns shift, posture adapts, and nervous system responses organise around survival. A somatic, embodied, trauma-informed approach to emotional processing recognises that healing must involve the body, not as something to be fixed, but as an intelligent system that has learned how to protect.

Healing doesn’t require force or reliving the past. Through gentle movement, mindful awareness, and nervous-system safety, the body can soften and reorganise in its own time.

The festive season often arrives wrapped in glitter, warmth, and cultural expectation. We’re encouraged to feel joyful, grateful, and connected — yet the reality is more complex. For many, this time of year also stirs emotional triggers linked to family dynamics, grief, financial strain, sensory overload, or the pressure to perform happiness.

Click on the image to listen to TCFH podcast with me & Matt. It's a juicy conversation about the power of presence, the importance of embodied healing, and the beauty of returning home to our truest selves. Whether you're navigating your own trauma or holding space for others, this conversation is filled with insight and inspiration.

It can seem like an impossibility for most of us, as we push ourselves through each day, the grind of work, the struggle in relationships, the weight of trying to be the perfect parent/child/sibling/friend, the successful career-person and all amidst a world in multiple crises.

Grief

This blog may include triggering material for some readers and contains descriptions of trauma and childhood shock. The intention is to provide information and hope. Proceed only if you are comfortable with trauma topics.

When I was 10 years old, my family and I were involved in a near-fatal head-on crash with a truck and trailer unit, bearing a load of timber on the open highway. We were travelling home after a happy spring holiday, in the lakes region of Central Otago, New Zealand.

What I’ve noticed about my intimate relationships, is how easily triggered I get.